Surgeon 1.2.12
Like a searing hot hand
or a one way compass
she begins her work
as we talk about key west, convertibles, butterflies
she’s busy busy
her needle hemming and hawwing
like some trusty tried blue
ready for work
cutting and sewing my chest
while I stare at the ceiling
like a dead slug, my scar rests on my chest
half cut out
and limp like an old rug
or lion tongue
just unfurled
the places you find yourself
your skin
snipped with a scissor
the sound (yes the sound!)
quiet like a sneak
but formidable like a crunch
your flesh (yes the flesh!)
rising in a cloud above you
like a ghost
as a nerve is cauterized
- whoops
-----------------------------
Like a searing hot hand
or a one way compass
she begins her work
as we talk about key west, convertibles, butterflies
she’s busy busy
her needle hemming and hawwing
like some trusty tried blue
ready for work
cutting and sewing my chest
while I stare at the ceiling
like a dead slug, my scar rests on my chest
half cut out
and limp like an old rug
or lion tongue
just unfurled
the places you find yourself
your skin
snipped with a scissor
the sound (yes the sound!)
quiet like a sneak
but formidable like a crunch
your flesh (yes the flesh!)
rising in a cloud above you
like a ghost
as a nerve is cauterized
- whoops
-----------------------------
Poem 11.19.10 – View Of The Tree Outside My Window
Up like a crocus
or turgid cactus
like a cup of tea
brimming to the top
how is it
to have my eyes break to see your face as you filter in the sun?
throughout the seasons
shimmering with yellow
sticks and branches poky with leaflessness
like old wire hangers caught in the sky
of this dull gray city
til you cycle back to green
like a lime rolling across a counter
your silent constance
in equal measures boring and heartening at times
marks my passage of time
they say your career won't wake up one morning and leave you
well,
neither will a tree.
---------------------------------
Up like a crocus
or turgid cactus
like a cup of tea
brimming to the top
how is it
to have my eyes break to see your face as you filter in the sun?
throughout the seasons
shimmering with yellow
sticks and branches poky with leaflessness
like old wire hangers caught in the sky
of this dull gray city
til you cycle back to green
like a lime rolling across a counter
your silent constance
in equal measures boring and heartening at times
marks my passage of time
they say your career won't wake up one morning and leave you
well,
neither will a tree.
---------------------------------
Poem 11.21.10 - Bartending
Like the sheath of a ravens wing feathers
closing like a fan
or the way my boss falls from hard edged to tired shoulder thrusts
as she dances amid claps and woops, arms raised
specially waiting for her
at the end of the night
she stands and takes stock of her bar
her hair falling brittle against her puffy face
the light hitting her cheek
like a lens covered in vaseline
her husband fumbles clumsy with wine at the end of the night
knocking over my tea mug
and asking for the tip count not once, twice but three times again
slurring his words like speed bumps in this dark journey
in between sleep and awake
I walk home
and curse the day as it breaks
let me stay
unattended in the night
soft like black velvet wrappings
and hard and hollow as a knife handle
------------------------------------------------------
Like the sheath of a ravens wing feathers
closing like a fan
or the way my boss falls from hard edged to tired shoulder thrusts
as she dances amid claps and woops, arms raised
specially waiting for her
at the end of the night
she stands and takes stock of her bar
her hair falling brittle against her puffy face
the light hitting her cheek
like a lens covered in vaseline
her husband fumbles clumsy with wine at the end of the night
knocking over my tea mug
and asking for the tip count not once, twice but three times again
slurring his words like speed bumps in this dark journey
in between sleep and awake
I walk home
and curse the day as it breaks
let me stay
unattended in the night
soft like black velvet wrappings
and hard and hollow as a knife handle
------------------------------------------------------
Poem 4.6.10
copies and copies and copies of keys
screeching out hello
as the fillings spray
and the locksmith calls us guys
--------------------------------------------
copies and copies and copies of keys
screeching out hello
as the fillings spray
and the locksmith calls us guys
--------------------------------------------
Poem 7.10.10
feeling hollow
like a wet paper balloon
or right after
lightning's retracted
its tender tight veins
the moment after the tree cracks
when the branch is falling
but before its fell
or
the moment
right before a car hits you
when the push of air
stretches around you
gentle like a fan
--------------------------
feeling hollow
like a wet paper balloon
or right after
lightning's retracted
its tender tight veins
the moment after the tree cracks
when the branch is falling
but before its fell
or
the moment
right before a car hits you
when the push of air
stretches around you
gentle like a fan
--------------------------
Poem 4.3.10
Today i used my pallette
to block off the space the cats go in
to hide underground the bathtub by their litter box
i dragged a couch up the stairs
and quickly my soft hands became
blistered
unused to rough work
i’m wondering when i’ll start creating
even though i’m always making
lost in a soft everyday sea
my heart syncopated to its bobbing pace
---------------------------------------------------------
Today i used my pallette
to block off the space the cats go in
to hide underground the bathtub by their litter box
i dragged a couch up the stairs
and quickly my soft hands became
blistered
unused to rough work
i’m wondering when i’ll start creating
even though i’m always making
lost in a soft everyday sea
my heart syncopated to its bobbing pace
---------------------------------------------------------
Poem 4.11.10
Back in philly
gunshots
cool breezes
tattoos and trash littered streets
dogs barking in the backyard
the sound of wind through the leaves
an ambulance singsonging itself through the night air
philly philly philly
how i missed you
like a lover 2hundred and fifty miles away
how i breathe in the dirt, trash, the birds and the trees
and yes and yes
return to you
like a tired child
falling into bed
---------------------
Back in philly
gunshots
cool breezes
tattoos and trash littered streets
dogs barking in the backyard
the sound of wind through the leaves
an ambulance singsonging itself through the night air
philly philly philly
how i missed you
like a lover 2hundred and fifty miles away
how i breathe in the dirt, trash, the birds and the trees
and yes and yes
return to you
like a tired child
falling into bed
---------------------
Poem 12.9.10 - Overworked
Surgery just three months away to the day
I look up as through a coal shaft
a sun out of reach
proof of its presence
is just an idea
and giving up is not an option
Feeling defeated like drooping eyelids
a sore back and sprained ankle.
when it happens that
sleep is dreaded for the morning
an unending expanse of work hours to be filled
like a poorly weighted wheel
I take to the day
------------------------
Surgery just three months away to the day
I look up as through a coal shaft
a sun out of reach
proof of its presence
is just an idea
and giving up is not an option
Feeling defeated like drooping eyelids
a sore back and sprained ankle.
when it happens that
sleep is dreaded for the morning
an unending expanse of work hours to be filled
like a poorly weighted wheel
I take to the day
------------------------
Poem 7.24.10 - Lux Nova or What is Betrayal?
I feel my ready and unready
heave like the ballast to some great ship
I feel my heart
like footfalls of pain and pleasure
squeeze out an endless rhythm
she said
i turn it over in my body
I wonder if guilt is a weight worn steady
and at the other end of that line
something sits like a troll
or walks slow like a pilgrim in the midday sun
being pushed towards some relic of salvation
by the breath of god
------------------------------
I feel my ready and unready
heave like the ballast to some great ship
I feel my heart
like footfalls of pain and pleasure
squeeze out an endless rhythm
she said
i turn it over in my body
I wonder if guilt is a weight worn steady
and at the other end of that line
something sits like a troll
or walks slow like a pilgrim in the midday sun
being pushed towards some relic of salvation
by the breath of god
------------------------------
Poem 9.7.10 – Training for the 5k
I put one foot in front of the other
and stack one breath on top
I feel pulled along
by myself
by my father
my brother
my mother
like a spectre
by mania
and the ecstasy
of saint gabriel
his robes fluttering on my cheeks
as i grab those hems
and sink in
i remember i cried in the park mid-run
after he left me
and i think now
that jesus
might just be another word
for perseverance
self reliance
and the revelation that comes with
running straight through
for your own damn self
---------------------------------
I put one foot in front of the other
and stack one breath on top
I feel pulled along
by myself
by my father
my brother
my mother
like a spectre
by mania
and the ecstasy
of saint gabriel
his robes fluttering on my cheeks
as i grab those hems
and sink in
i remember i cried in the park mid-run
after he left me
and i think now
that jesus
might just be another word
for perseverance
self reliance
and the revelation that comes with
running straight through
for your own damn self
---------------------------------
Poem 12.7.10 – I Don’t Want To Fall In Love
Heartbreak that builds itself slowly like an icicle
crystalized and obvious
in the morning sun
as fall rolls into winter
with the strength and quiet of some titanic
the ocean's cold waves breaking against its steel and metal
the less I understand your summer time choices
or you for that matter, who could so swiftly hurt one you loved
with all the speed and absurd beauty
of a scythe reaping rye
or a shooting star in the heavens
as fall rolls into winter
like a sword being sheathed
the more I feel my heart ice over
some passage impenetrable
like superman's artic cave
or a polar bear sitting in a zoo
bored at the people passing by
they say it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all
but in the end
it wasn't worth it
------------------------
Heartbreak that builds itself slowly like an icicle
crystalized and obvious
in the morning sun
as fall rolls into winter
with the strength and quiet of some titanic
the ocean's cold waves breaking against its steel and metal
the less I understand your summer time choices
or you for that matter, who could so swiftly hurt one you loved
with all the speed and absurd beauty
of a scythe reaping rye
or a shooting star in the heavens
as fall rolls into winter
like a sword being sheathed
the more I feel my heart ice over
some passage impenetrable
like superman's artic cave
or a polar bear sitting in a zoo
bored at the people passing by
they say it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all
but in the end
it wasn't worth it
------------------------
Poem 11.12.10 – Like a Lighthouse
a broken tire iron
left on the side of the road
a plastic bag with torn handles
a missing screwdriver
huddled under the couch
useful tools
shed of their purpose
when you say you miss me
I feel my chest ring out a hollow bell
a sweet and empty tone shows itself to me
its song clear and steadfast in its unexpected presence
that I've moved on
---------------------------
a broken tire iron
left on the side of the road
a plastic bag with torn handles
a missing screwdriver
huddled under the couch
useful tools
shed of their purpose
when you say you miss me
I feel my chest ring out a hollow bell
a sweet and empty tone shows itself to me
its song clear and steadfast in its unexpected presence
that I've moved on
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